


The Way to a Man's Heart

by littledust



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-21
Updated: 2005-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-17 21:49:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/181511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledust/pseuds/littledust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke has no idea how to woo Naruto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way to a Man's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Present for my own true love [](http://tammaiya.livejournal.com/profile)[**tammaiya**](http://tammaiya.livejournal.com/). Feel better soon, babe! This is utter silly silly fluff, plz to not be taking seriously, kthx. Argh.

The traditional trappings of romance, Sasuke supposed, would not do in this case. The idea of him presenting flowers to _anyone_ , let alone Naruto, was ludicrous. (What on earth did one do with the flowers, anyway? They died in a few days. There was probably some kind of metaphor there but on the whole the entire flowers thing was cliche and stupid, at least in his opinion.) He was no good at poetry, certainly not any good at singing.

Chocolate might work. Ramen would be even better. But he wanted to win Naruto's heart, not his stomach, though all evidence pointed to a definite connection between the two.

Sasuke reflected on how _he_ would like to be wooed (first, he'd find a better word than "wooed") but couldn't come up with anything, really. You could only challenge the same person to a battle so many times before things got repetitious and boring, though somehow he didn't suspect this would be the case as he always felt most alive in combat, grappling with his foe, grappling being the keyword--anyway. No. No fighting.

Maybe Sakura would have some advice. Last week, she had finally acquiesced to Rock Lee's advances, which surely meant that her irritating little crush on _him_ was over and done with. Sasuke refused to sympathize with the whole crush plight. _His_ feelings were above reproach, and most of all didn't involve swooning and generally making a nuisance of himself.

So he went and found Sakura.

It took quite a while for her to stop laughing.

"Wait, wait, you have to tell me again," she snickered, clutching her sides. "C'mon, you can't be serious! Well, never mind, I know you are. We all figured it out months ago."

"'We'?" he echoed, feeling a little lost.

"The _girls,_ who else? Well, and Lee, but he's kind of weird anyway."

"Pursue your own true love with every beat of your exuberant heart!" came a muffled cry from the nearby bushes.

Sakura sighed, grinding her teeth. "Lee," she said impatiently, "we are going out. You don't have to _stalk_ me."

A hand stuck out from the bushes and waved cheerfully. "To protect you from hidden danger, I must remain hidden as well! And good luck, Sasuke!"

Sasuke walked away, not inclined to take advice from _anyplace_ resembling a mental institution.

That left one other reliable source for advice, though it promised to be only slightly less crazy.

"Kakashi-sensei, I need to borrow one of your books."

Kakashi stared as best he could with one eye and indeed barely any visible face at all. "Huh?"

"I need to borrow one of your books," Sasuke repeated, going red in the face. Honestly, was it such a difficult concept to understand? Well, he couldn't see anyone else ever asking for one of his teacher's beloved books, but that was beside the point. This was _desperation._

Kakashi blinked at him a few times, then rummaged around in his pockets, pulling out two objects, which he handed to his student. "All right, but you have to wear those gloves, and turn the pages with the tweezers, and not exhale too near the binding, and--wait a minute, the books aren't for kids."

"Well, I _need_ one." Sasuke folded his arms, scowling.

"You'll be sure to wear the gloves?"

 _"Yes!"_

Studying the book, however, proved to be useless. In no scenario involving Naruto and himself could Sasuke picture any heaving bosoms, and there went half of the text right there. He supposed peeking in the bathhouse was an option, but he couldn't exactly fall through the dividing wall into his love's arms, seeing as the two in question would be in the same bath anyway.

In short, he was doomed.

Of course, that was the precise moment Naruto chose to come stampeding by, clapping him on the shoulder and yelling "HEY, GROUCHFACE!" directly into his ear. Sasuke socked him in the jaw out of reflex and did not regret it.

"Ow," Naruto whined, then perked up instantly as his stomach growled. "Hey, you wanna go get some ramen?"

"Only," said Sasuke with great dignity, "if it is a date."

Naruto stared at him, puzzled. "You mean they weren't dates before?"

"..."

And they all lived happily ever after, the end.


End file.
